In 1984, when I was 14, I fell in love with a boy at school, we were together for about a year and then we broke up.  He was my first love and I always felt love for him, often dreaming about him and often wondering “what if”.In 1990, when I was 20, I fell in love with a man who was everything on my wish list and absolutely perfect.   In 1996, when I was 26, we got married.

About 12 years ago, and in my first year of marriage, I broke all my own rules, and had an affair with my boyfriend from school when we met up at a school reunion.  From that day I suppressed what I had done, hid it under the mat, did not tell my husband and I resented myself and regretted my actions.

In September 2008 I was so fortunate to attend the Landmark Forum, together with my husband.  After learning the Integrity distinction I found myself compelled to clean up with my husband.  He was in his transformed listening and was really present as I explained my pain, resentment and regret.  My husband helped me through my break down and the break through was amazing.  He then coached me for the next couple of months to “clean up the moose head” with the boy from school. 

In January 2009, I finally phoned the boy from school and explained that I fell in love with him when I was 14 and had always loved him and would always love him.  I apologized for the affair and thanked him for all the love and kindness he had always shown to me.  He was really lovely and listened kindly.

When I hung up, I really got, Wow!  When I was 14, I had a really beautiful boyfriend.  When I was 26, I married my really beautiful husband.  What a lucky girl I am.  I no longer felt like I had two loves in my life and now I felt I could really give myself 100% to my husband.   

What I got was freedom from resentment and regret after 12 years.

Thank you Landmark!

With Love

Donna Quinn (Brisbane, Australia)