I grew up in a culture where there were different rules for men and women. It seemed that my role as a daughter was to serve my father and my brother until I got married then I would serve my husband. As a girl, I wasn’t important, I didn’t matter. 

My Dad would cut my hair, so my hair would alternate between being a massive afro to being cut really short and boyish.  When I was really little, maybe 4 years old, I remember being on the bus with my mother and a lady on the bus mistook me for a boy – even though I was wearing a dress.  As a teenager, there were many occasions when I got mistaken for a boy because of the baggy clothes I wore and the short hair. 

After school, I lost weight and I noticed I was getting a lot of attention from men – even old male relatives, which creeped me out.  I had to hide again and make sure my femininity wasn’t seen. 

I was raised as a Catholic and I grew up feeling ashamed/guilty of any sexual urges.  I hadn’t considered sex as something that was natural; it was something that had to be hidden.  I never felt fully expressed in a sexual relationship and I didn’t ask for what I wanted. 

A few years ago, I went to see a doctor and she diagnosed me as having PCOS and told me (without conducting any tests) that I wouldn’t be able to have children.  I felt defective as a woman and I was upset that the option had been taken away from me (even though having children wasn’t definitely on the cards for me). 

I chose to suppress my femininity, my sensuality, my sexuality. I didn’t let anyone into my heart.  I was always guarded, flippant (pretending that I didn’t care and that I was okay) and being a victim.

It was constraining, exhausting, frustrating.   

In the Landmark Forum, I got to see that I was sexually and emotionally repressed; I made myself feel guilty and ashamed over the “story” I’d make up about myself, my life and my role as a woman.  I chose to put an end to being a VICTIM.  Instead I chose to be a CHARLIE’S ANGEL!  What that means to me is being sexually liberated, sensuous, sexy and proud!  ROCK ON!

This has allowed me to stop tolerating being single, to take action around meeting single men and to be excited about the possibility of being in a relationship.  I am taking action!  I have been to three course dinner dating and I have even signed up to a couple of online dating websites (which is something I thought I would NEVER do).  I no longer say that “N” word!  Anything is possible!

Olga, Brisbane, Queensland

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4149455588032571808&hl=en

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h96aSveQ9Gc]

A woman reports about taking the Landmark Forum in London.

A newspaper has written about what appears to be the self-expression and leadership programme project of Joanne Mejia, which is to auction used dresses to raise money for those affected by recent tsunamis and other disasters. Here is the article from the Moorabool Express Telegraph written in November.

Wardrobes raided to ease their plight

MELTON resident Joanne Mejia is trimming her wardrobe for a good cause and wants other women to do the same. The 26-year-old is behind a fund-raising event later this month dubbed Dresses with a Difference,
at which dresses will be auctioned off to raise money for countries directly affected by recent tsunamis, typhoons and floods.

Ms Mejia, a teacher at Roxburgh Homestead Primary School, was born in the Philippines. She is organising the event as part of a course at Landmark Education in South Melbourne. “Some of the dresses I’ve donated had been for weddings and others are casual ones I’ve never used before,” she said.

“Coming from a Third World country and one of the countries that have been hit by the disasters, I wanted to make a difference to these people’s lives.”
Ms Mejia hopes to raise more than $5000 from the event, to which 40 dresses have already been donated.

In this video a man shares about how an insight he got in the Landmark Forum allowed him to mend a long standing rift he had with his father.

This is an interview with a woman who shares about a breakthrough she had in trusting men as a result of the Landmark Forum.

This man shares about being more open to share his love with his family after taking the Landmark Forum.

Look at this woman share about what happened when she took part in the Landmark Forum:

I had ideas, I had creativity, I had big plans, but it didn’t mean anything because I had no idea how I was going to make it all possible… it was all too hard!

I was coming from a very confused space, not knowing whether I was good enough to do what it was I really wanted to do. There would always be an excuse or someone that would cause me to believe it just wasn’t possible.

Before I knew it I was seeing new visions and openings that was causing me to think BIG! I was believing in myself that anything was really possible. I became unstoppable in my way of thinking!!!

A really big thing that stood out for me was the way I was being and who I was being for others surrounding me; it was such a huge reflection on my staff at work. I had so much power that I wasn’t using to my potential. I could be direct because I could be direct, so I was. This caused things to be so much easier that the stress was peeling off me and I had more time for other things that needed to be done.

I came to the realization my job was great and I love the industry I’m in but I felt something just wasn’t right for me… I had no control or say in the business and even after trying so hard I realized I needed to make a stand for myself and my communities to go out there and start causing as many transformations as possible. I needed something BIGGER! My own business venture I had been planning in my head for so long…

So I took the plunge and resigned from my position at a big commercial company to go on my own business venture, without knowing what the outcome could be. I knew it was the right decision to make. I know my commitment to my business is something I will not give up on no matter what it takes. There is a strong support network around me - people making me accountable each and every day. I have given up the risk of ‘failure’ and if something does fail at least I know I gave it everything I’ve got, and with what I now have it’s going to be incredibly hard to fail! So why not give it a go?!

So here I am - now just over two weeks out of my official last day of being employed - and already have a PA (Personal Assistant/Manager) working for me for free; business cards designed and made with only the cost for them to be made up (design was done with the help of a few different people playing around with it). I’ve also been given ‘free’ water bottles to hand out to clients or potential clients. I have a very experienced business owner helping to find a prime location and negotiate the deal for the business. In the mean time I’m working out of a great location at a good price. I have a fantastic mentor keeping me on track and ensuring I’m in action constantly. My website is waiting for me to start creating; a domain name has been set up and is ready to go with people around me offering their help for very reasonable prices to their experience. I don’t even have to pay any house rent at the moment. My PA/Manager has been in action every day for so many weeks now it amazes me how much she does each day/week and still manages to juggle three kids, a husband and her own business venture. All this help and support came from who I was being and enrolling people in what was possible.

 I am so relaxed, happy, stress free and confident in myself and business, I believe it’s all just a matter of time until my business venture is a success. I would sincerely say none of this would have ever been possible, and especially so fast, if it wasn’t for Landmark Education – SELP Program to make me realize I just needed to look around myself and communicate with the people in my life in such a way that they are touched, moved and inspired by my causing then just going for it!!! Not forgetting ALL the amazing people I have met and learnt so much from in the program and education, it’s really AMAZING! Words couldn’t explain, they just GET IT!!!GO OUT THERE & JUST DO IT!!! TEAM (Together, Everyone, Achieves, More)  Nil Desperandum – Means NEVER GIVE UP!DREAMS COME WITH THE ABILITY TO ACHIEVE THEM!!!Jayden Edge 

Growing up, it seemed as though I was Mr. Courageous and Fun Loving. I was outgoing and loud at times and quiet and reserved at others. I was always comfortable, yet always refused to break the barriers of that comfort zone. I always had many friends and was surrounded by such an amazing family that I thought life was perfect; what could I possibly complain about? I was perfectly happy in my little bubble and settled myself down for a life of anything that I thought was achievable. I had no idea of my potential in executing what was really possible. What was underneath all that was a young man who was totally scared of being exposed. I loved the attention when people saw me for the act I was putting on, but as soon as I came close to revealing my true vulnerability, I crawled right back in to my hidden cave.

From when I was a little boy, I knew I was gay. I may not have been able to directly pinpoint it as a child, but I knew that there was something inside me that didn’t feel “normal.” So, to keep my façade credible, I chose to ignore it. I went to an all boys school, surrounded by such big, testosterone-driven personalities that I felt like I had to fit a mould. I would bully whomever it was cool to bully, just so people would notice me as someone who was confident and able to speak down to others. I had girlfriends, and lots of them. It was cool to dump girls and have a laugh with mates about it, and so I did exactly that. I called other boys ‘faggots’ and constantly made gay jokes. Ironically, at this point, I absolutely knew I was gay. I am still amazed at the power I had within myself to ignore it and convince myself that it wasn’t true – I liked girls and I would grow old with my own family – not with another man.

In my final year of school, this denial drove me to a point of utter madness. I was so trapped in a dark cell, and was so angry that I felt alone. Nothing about me was truly self-expressed. At the age of 16, I made a girl pregnant. As soon as this happened, I threw my arms in the air and gave up. I shoved the responsibility onto my parents as though it was their situation to deal with. In my mind, I was not equipped to deal with such an intense situation properly, so, true to my form, I ignored it. A small part of me was happy, because people would then know that I wasn’t gay. It was like the stamp on the envelope of lies that I lived. My mother and father took on the responsibility of dealing with the situation. They took the girl under their wing, supported her, supported me, and put all their personal morals aside just so that I remained happy. The pregnancy was terminated, and the truth of what happened did not impact me until years later. As I grew older and more mature, I was able to break a barrier and “came out” to my family and friends. Their attitudes towards me remained the same. I was still loved unconditionally. There was absolutely nothing to be scared of, yet I was still scared.

My attitude towards life was that it’s too hard. It’s dramatic and stressful. There’s too much pressure. To counter this, I became an independent person, who believed that to take on anyone else’s contribution was a sign of weakness. I had to be strong to get through all the insecurities that consumed me; my appearance, my ability, and who I was in my community. I was so resigned to a life complete with drama. Dramatic people create, attract and live for drama. Negative people create a world of unhappiness and cynicism. That is the exact road I was heading down. Being in that space, absolutely nothing was ever going to fully satisfy me.

When I completed the Landmark Forum, I was finally able to acknowledge my beautiful mother and amazing father for taking me on, supporting me and welcoming me into a world of love where being whoever I want to be is perfectly fine. The Landmark Forum opened my eyes up to the person whom I could be, and what actions I could take to make anything I want in my life possible. My best friends who requested me to do the Forum actually saved my life, and for this I am forever grateful.

I now smile everyday. My heart beats for my family. My love spreads throughout my beautiful friends. I see the beauty in this world. I see what is possible. I am surrounded by people who inspire me. My family and friends are the reason that I will stop at nothing to live a life that I absolutely love. I allow people to contribute to my life wherever possible. I am so happy and excited about where my life is taking me, and what is most important to me is that I am responsible for every single thing in my life. Wherever anything goes wrong or right, I have the power to alter my situation. That, to me, is the beauty of true self-confidence.  Peter Cunningham (Brisbane, QLD)

20 years old 

When I remember my early childhood, teens and adulthood I would think with regret that I didn’t really know my father. We never really talked to each other about ourselves and our relationship was closed to each other. I would always say, to myself and others, that I wanted to get to know dad . . . . .  before it was too late!

 But I never did. My dad is a quiet man and reserved when it comes to opening up to his feelings and emotions, however, I got to spend time with him while he was in hospital recently.  Basically he was a “captive audience” and I shared with him how he was an inspiration for me in my life and asked him to tell me about his life. From this conversation and subsequent conversations I learned a great deal that I never knew about my father and we both shared about our lives; our early hopes and dreams and what we wanted from life now.  These conversations were a catalyst to our relationship opening up and taking it to a higher level where we now both have the freedom to say what we want to each other. I also got something much more and totally unexpected. My dad told me he loved Me.  And he continues to tell me he loves me each time we part or say good-bye. 

Debra Forbes (Buderim, Queensland)

Before I had realised the value of community I was a person who lived my life singularly.  I wouldn’t ask for help and I didn’t believe I needed anyone in my life.  I was disconnected from those people around me and would socialise with my friends and associates “on my terms” and would only give up information about myself in a calculated and selected manner.  Not even my best friends could contribute to my life, even though they wanted to.

Then I decided to put a community event together.  In doing this I had elected to have a coach and a community of people around me to help me through the processes of putting the event together.

All was going well until my coach and I started rubbing each other up the wrong way.  I immediately, kicked into my “I don’t need this” and “I will do this on my own” way of being and everything started falling apart.  It was then that I became aware for the first time my decision not to allow others to contribute to my life wasn’t allowing myself to have the successes that I craved.  For the first time in my life I really understood my life-long habit of holding people at a distance was hurting me more than it was hurting everyone else around me.

So from that moment on I made a decision to allow others to contribute to me and my life and for the first time in my life things really started to work.  It started slowly at first.  I found myself a “buddy” and shared my hopes and dreams with her like I had never shared them before.  She in turn shared hers with me.  Very quickly we really started only seeing each other as incredible and awesome and amazing.  Through our sharing we started to see each other as what we wanted to be rather than who we were.  We then naturally became a stand for each other’s successes and held each other accountable for our word.  We became each other’s champions!!  It is hard to believe in your smallness if you have someone constantly in your ear telling you about how great you are.  Pretty soon I realised that I “needed” people in my life who saw me for my greatness and not my smallness and I was cheating myself if I didn’t.  I was truly being acknowledged for who I was for the first time in my life.  I was truly acknowledging my buddy for who they were for the first time in her life.

Through our excitement for the sudden understanding of the positive impact of having a “buddy” in our lives we started attracting others to our buddy system.  I introduced a 2nd buddy to my world.  I shared my hopes and dreams with her just as I was doing it before.  Then something amazing happened.  The 3 of us had without, our knowing or understanding had created a community.  Through our community suddenly the impossible became possible.  Things started happening really quickly at that point.

Jobs that were unattainable before, became attainable, dreams that were whimsical before, became a reality and successes started flowing in.  I got the most amazing job, that fit within a pre-written dream script.  I was so passionate about what I wanted for myself and my life and so empowered by having a community behind me that believed in me and had no tolerance for anything other than me being the best I could be, that I accidentally enrolled my employer into my life and he provided me with the facility for me to make it happen.  The others in this little community also started having incredible successes as well.  Our lives were unspeakable amazing.

How did it happen?  It happened because my self-made community believed in each other so completely, that no matter what we as individuals decided to do, no matter how whimsical, or crazy the idea was, they were so enrolled in my greatness and I was so enrolled in theirs that we became such a stand for each other’s possibilities.  It was now impossible to fail!  For the first time in my life I really got to understand what unconditional love and acceptance was.

What’s great is I created this community by myself, and in so doing I created my future!  I am sure it will grow bigger and when this happens I can hardly imagine what will be possible.  I need them, because without them my life just doesn’t work.

I also understand that it is so important for me to ensure that my community is healthy and happy, and that each of my community of buddies is fulfilling on their potential as well.  Their belief in their smallness is not acceptable to me and my life any more than my belief in my smallness is acceptable to them and their lives.  I now realise for the first time, that they must truly believe in their own greatness and be successful in their lives, for me to succeed in my life.   While I have this community, I absolutely cannot fail, because they will ensure I have all the facilities available to me to make whatever I want happen.

If they don’t get it, I don’t get it!

If they get it, everything I want for myself and my life is possible!

Wow!!!!

Kate Taylor (Brisbane, Australia)

My story comes after a really terrible period in my life where my wonderful and beautiful daughter stopped talking to me and cut me out of her life. At the time of doing the Landmark Forum, our relationship was just starting to improve. Inspired by the idea of clearing the past and acknowledging my daughter for who she was for me in my life, I took courage, lifted the phone and told her that no matter what she did, I would always love her.  Speaking these words truly to my daughter, I was overwhelmed with the stark and simple truth of what I had just said. That I really would always love her no matter what.  Speaking and actually seeing this, made me realise that I really could love someone. Immediately, I was struck with a brilliant flash of joy and relief as I realised that I had unconsciously been operating under the rather stupid misconception that I was unable to, or no good at, loving. I have no idea where this idea came from, but this crazy story of mine had been choking the life out of my relationships for some time. As a result of this revelation to self, instead of leaving my partner and casting myself back out into the “cold, cold snow” as I had planned to do, I decided to stay. I decided to stay with my partner, not because I was afraid of being on my own, but because I was no longer felt afraid of being in a relationship, no longer felt afraid of being found lacking in love or not being able to give enough love back.  I was also finally able to stop, hear and acknowledge my daughter’s grief with me. When I actually listened, I could see quite clearly that she had been trying to explain herself to me all along. Previously however, my own rather self defensive “yes but” dialogue had effectively drowned out and discounted her words and her distress. My relationship is still, I think, a work in progress, but I am so happy that I do actually have someone in my life to love. 

My relationship with my daughter is still fragile on occasions, but now I can see that I do have love to give, the possibility of our relationship is looking a whole lot brighter.

Hollie Hollie (Brisbane, Australia)

In 1984, when I was 14, I fell in love with a boy at school, we were together for about a year and then we broke up.  He was my first love and I always felt love for him, often dreaming about him and often wondering “what if”.In 1990, when I was 20, I fell in love with a man who was everything on my wish list and absolutely perfect.   In 1996, when I was 26, we got married.

About 12 years ago, and in my first year of marriage, I broke all my own rules, and had an affair with my boyfriend from school when we met up at a school reunion.  From that day I suppressed what I had done, hid it under the mat, did not tell my husband and I resented myself and regretted my actions.

In September 2008 I was so fortunate to attend the Landmark Forum, together with my husband.  After learning the Integrity distinction I found myself compelled to clean up with my husband.  He was in his transformed listening and was really present as I explained my pain, resentment and regret.  My husband helped me through my break down and the break through was amazing.  He then coached me for the next couple of months to “clean up the moose head” with the boy from school. 

In January 2009, I finally phoned the boy from school and explained that I fell in love with him when I was 14 and had always loved him and would always love him.  I apologized for the affair and thanked him for all the love and kindness he had always shown to me.  He was really lovely and listened kindly.

When I hung up, I really got, Wow!  When I was 14, I had a really beautiful boyfriend.  When I was 26, I married my really beautiful husband.  What a lucky girl I am.  I no longer felt like I had two loves in my life and now I felt I could really give myself 100% to my husband.   

What I got was freedom from resentment and regret after 12 years.

Thank you Landmark!

With Love

Donna Quinn (Brisbane, Australia)