In 1984, when I was 14, I fell in love with a boy at school, we were together for about a year and then we broke up.  He was my first love and I always felt love for him, often dreaming about him and often wondering “what if”.In 1990, when I was 20, I fell in love with a man who was everything on my wish list and absolutely perfect.   In 1996, when I was 26, we got married.

About 12 years ago, and in my first year of marriage, I broke all my own rules, and had an affair with my boyfriend from school when we met up at a school reunion.  From that day I suppressed what I had done, hid it under the mat, did not tell my husband and I resented myself and regretted my actions.

In September 2008 I was so fortunate to attend the Landmark Forum, together with my husband.  After learning the Integrity distinction I found myself compelled to clean up with my husband.  He was in his transformed listening and was really present as I explained my pain, resentment and regret.  My husband helped me through my break down and the break through was amazing.  He then coached me for the next couple of months to “clean up the moose head” with the boy from school. 

In January 2009, I finally phoned the boy from school and explained that I fell in love with him when I was 14 and had always loved him and would always love him.  I apologized for the affair and thanked him for all the love and kindness he had always shown to me.  He was really lovely and listened kindly.

When I hung up, I really got, Wow!  When I was 14, I had a really beautiful boyfriend.  When I was 26, I married my really beautiful husband.  What a lucky girl I am.  I no longer felt like I had two loves in my life and now I felt I could really give myself 100% to my husband.   

What I got was freedom from resentment and regret after 12 years.

Thank you Landmark!

With Love

Donna Quinn (Brisbane, Australia)

Before the Landmark Forum, I had given up on my dreams and was caged in by the things that I had decided I couldn’t achieve and I didn’t even know it. I knew that there was something that I needed, but I didn’t know what I was looking for.

How I came to be in the Landmark Forum was an angel I knew saying to me “I’ve just done this thing and everyone should know this; you should do it”. I looked at her and she was lit up like a Christmas tree, so I said ok.

I looked at my calendar and the dates of the Landmark Forum and they didn’t work; I already had plans. After the Brisbane Landmark Forum had passed, the dates of the next one didn’t work either. I went ok, so if I want to go to this thing, I need to make some changes, because it would be guaranteed that the dates for the next one wouldn’t work for me either and I’ll never get to do it. So I rearranged my commitments and made room to do the Landmark Forum.

Oh my god! I got my life back out of the Landmark Forum, the ”couldn’t” cage that I had been living in got lifted off and I experienced freedom! I was Superwoman and anything was possible!

I had being saying ‘No’ to opportunities at work for 6 months prior and back at work on the Monday after the Landmark Forum, I said ‘Yes’. As a result, four  months later I stood up and spoke in front of my industry colleagues at a national conference and shared with them a project that I had been working on for the last two years.

My life previously consisted of finding new and interesting ways to torture myself. How could I get my hopes up and then smash them? Now, my life consists of finding new fun and enjoyable ways of experiencing all the awesome stuff I told myself I wasn’t good enough for. Instead of driving around in a rattly, no tunes, no aircon, no suspension, bucket of bolts, I have an awesome car that is smooth and quiet and a dream to drive (sigh). I end up wound down, rather than wound up at my destination.

I could write a book about all the stuff I’ve gotten and keep on getting and probably will, but for now all you need to know is that, it’s ok to give yourself the gift your mother gave you, life. I invite you to put your money where your mouth is and see for yourself, it’s three days and an evening out of your entire life. Strap yourself in and enjoy the ride!

Written by Sandra Hawksford (Brisbane Australia)

Last year I participated in the Self Expression and Leadership Programme at Landmark Education. My project was to get together 150 women who have been sexually assaulted – I am one of these women – to paint, pray and read the Psalms. The project didn’t actually turn out for a variety of reasons and circumstances but I would still love to do this…but what occurs in this course is that you begin to link up with communities with whom you are committed to making a difference. I linked up with a lot of women’s organisations inside of Australia and beyond. I discovered an amazing organisation called VDay (an organisation set up in the states to stand for ‘Victory Over Violence’ Day). I applied to perform their yearly fundraiser – The Vagina Monologues, a play with a variety of women’s monologues about their experience around sexual abuse and other forms of abuse and then a few monologues about being empowered nomatter the past circumstances. We performed at Sydney Theatre and there were 17 actresses and two guest directors on board. I produced, directed and acted in this performance and we raised $10,000 for Dympna House, a women’s resource and counselling centre for women who have experienced sexual abuse. It was a huge event that would never have happened had I not had the training of the Self Expression and Leadership Programme – although being trained in Theatre, I had never committed myself to something of such importance both personally and politically. I thank Landmark Education for the training, VDay for the opportunity and Dympna House for the awesome work you do with women.

See the following link: http://www.sydneytheatre.org.au/event.asp?pID=114

The following is an from my Director’s note in the programme:
There is no cure for rape. There is no real way to say to young people and teens to do this or do that and you will definitely avoid being raped. The whole act of rape and incest goes against being able to proactively control it. But there is still popular commentary about how we can avoid this ‘problem’. There are organizations that are set up to research breast cancer and AIDS and many other charities and organizations set up to scientifically research the disease that is within many women. To seek a cure. To solve the problem. Why do we do all this? Because innately, we do care about women. We care about half the population on this planet.
But rape. How can one scientifically research this in search of a cure? We cannot.
What will solve this ‘problem’ because it is a problem that permeates not only women, but the men with whom we relate – our brothers, fathers, friends and lovers?
We talk of saving women from diseases, which kill us but do we talk of saving women from the DIS-ease of rape? Recently, in my own community, I called for women who had been raped – who were the survivors of this tragic experience – to get together to paint together. Just to provide a space where one can begin to talk about the experiences in a safe environment of fellow women who have experienced this pain. I was told by people in power – both men and women – that I was attempting to open a Pandora’s Box. That women will be likely to come away, from their conversations and being in the company of other women who have similar experiences, with sadness and further pain. That being around and acknowledging what has happened will encourage the old wounds to open up and may lead to women falling prey to depression and suicide. And who would want to be responsible for the opening up of these wounds? For the consequences?
This response saddened me – I was and I am one of these women and by not talking about it or acknowledging it has left me with the Pandora’s Box on the inside – creating havoc with my whole state of being. I cannot not talk about it. I wrote something recently that reminded me of why we must talk. Particularly, because if we don’t, the perpetrator who originally told me- and probably told you too – that if you do talk about it, you will die. This is not true. If you talk about it you will live. If you don’t talk about it, you are dead already to that little girl who first experienced this pain and someone switched her off. When I really thought about it, I remembered why – initially – it was so difficult to talk about this…
He said he would kill me. He said I was to shut up. Not to tell anyone. He said that I was a whore. He obviously didn’t know me. I was not a whore. I was not one to shut up. I wasn’t afraid of death.
However, what I didn’t count on was the reception of women who had been told exactly the same thing: shut up; don’t talk; die.
When I finally did tell my mother, she laughed and said that it had happened to her too. So what? Go have a drink. Chill out. Don’t bring up the past. It’s just a lot of dead wood. As though there was nothing anyone could do about it. Nothing. Not one thing.
I didn’t know what was worse: being dead physically or playing dead emotionally. Of course there was no comparison; I had only experienced the latter. I became that dead wood.
So I did shut up and I did die but it wasn’t the man who killed me. It was other women who believed that telling other women would strike them down dead with the lightning rod of shame. But like all good old wives tales, it was just a tale.
Recently, lightning did strike me – the spark that set fire to that dead wood and made it burn. It burnt right down and in its place there was a clearing – a clear space to breath.
There is freedom in space, in this clearing. And in this space where once was the dead wood called me, I asked God permission to talk and he said that yes it was okay. And He took my pain away. And then I asked Him if it was okay to talk with other women again – to learn to trust them again. And He said of course. And then I asked Him why the women didn’t want to talk with me. And He said because the women believed in this lie – that they were the dead wood. And dead wood can’t hear.
Or so it thinks.
So think. Am I dead wood or can I hear? Am I a victim or a survivor? There is a choice – to talk or not to talk. At the moment in society it isn’t popular to talk about this subject. People are at a loss to know how to respond. What to say. How to be a good best friend, sibling, mother, father, lover or friend. What is the right thing to say? For so long no one has spoken about the subject that we indeed lack the language; no one really knows what is the right thing to say in response.
Our loved ones, husbands and boyfriends try their best: Go see a counselor. Have you seen a counselor? Are you over this? Well, it happens to most women so get over it. What were you wearing? What did you do to cause this? Are you okay? Will you be able to have orgasms? Do you have hang-ups? Oh, this always happens to me – all my ex-girlfriends have been raped – why me?
There are many sorts of responses to the declaration ‘I have been raped’ as well as much silence. There is this awkwardness surrounding the conversation. Why? We’re not used to talking about this subject. It’s something that we push under the lino. We don’t even want to look at it. Why? Is there guilt around it because all of us not only know women who have been raped, but we know at least someone who has perpetrated this crime. Do the maths – with so many women who have been raped, it only makes sense that we do actually know someone who has perpetrated this crime upon others. I have known at least three men who have perpetrated this crime and I have only been raped once. And I also know men and young men who have been the victims – or survivors? – of this crime. But nobody is talking. The silence in our society can be cut with a knife. Can you hear it? What holds the silence in suspension? Is it our societal guilt that has retained this silence?
We can, however, talk about it and start to create a language around this devoid of shame. Shame is the first thing that we think of when we consider talking about the experience of rape – that we are to be embarrassed or shamed because of what happened. But if this is true, then we are the ones who did something wrong. We did not do something wrong. We are not broken. We are not to blame. Why do we let society and the person who did this keep us locked up in a cage of shame? This is what we are responsible for – whether we talk or not and to whom. We can be the cause in the matter. We can create a language around this or just keep it contained in our own mind where the damage visits us and haunts us and by our own repression, it does nothing productive but hurts us. Whatever we resist persists. The wound that is not healed hurts. We know the clichés. But we don’t stop to look at what happened.
This performance of ‘The Vagina Monologues’ acts like an anchor or a break or an intervention into how society has shaped up to be. This performance of The Vagina Monologues is dedicated to women and men who have been raped. Women and men who were the victims of this crime. Women and men who are the survivors of this crime. In this 2007 V-Day Benefit performance, the money raised goes towards Dympna House, a women’s and girls’ resource center for those who have been sexually abused. The funds go towards forwarding the conversations around which will empower women and girls to be the starting line in a new generation of women who will stand up and say I will talk about this experience because by talking about it, what is created is the understanding that I am not ashamed of what happened to me – there is truth to both statements that “it did not break me but it did break me”. I was broken and forced open which naturally causes me to close up like a shell. But I won’t close up like a shell because by doing so, I am reacting from that pain. By not closing up like a shell, I am announcing loud and clear that I still have a voice.
The V-Day performances, of “The Vagina Monologues”, throughout the world gives women such a voice and provides women with such a space to voice their strength and resilience and discoveries. It will raise much-needed funds for women’s charities. But more than this, it begins the exploration of creating a language around which we can begin to talk about the pain of being raped and violated.

Rosalyn Vincent of Bentleigh East decided to help teach children to knit as her project in Landmark Education’s Self Expression and Leadership programme. The project was spotlighted in the Moorabin Glen Elra Leader.

Close Knit Community in Bentleigh

by Lisa Edgerton

WHEN the lunch bell rings at St Peter’s Primary School students pull out their knitting needles.

Every Tuesday and Thursday children in the Click Clack Knitting Club learn to knit in their lunch breaks.

Bentleigh East resident Roslyn Vincent, 60, formed the group as part of her Landmark Education Self Expression and Leadership course.

One of her assignments was to design a project linked to the wider community and she chose to combine her love of children and knitting.

“I decided it would be a good idea to teach children how to knit and the response has been wonderful,” the Murrumbeena Spinners group member said. “We now have more than 40 children learning to knit or making pom-poms each lesson.”

“I am really passionate about knitting so it’s fantastic to be able to pass this on to the children and watch them develop their skills.”

Co-ordinator Joan Carrazzo said the school welcomed the project and would continue with it in future.

“It was a great idea as it teaches the children many cognitive skills and takes them back to basics while exploring their creative sides,” Mrs Carrazzo said.

The students have knitted squares for a large blanket for a victim of the Black Saturday bushfires.

Liliana Iuri is using her project in the landmark education self-expression and leadership programme to get people involved in rescuing animals. The Brimbank Leader newspaper tells her story.

Join St. Albans Patron Saint of Lost Pawses

A ST Albans animal lover is on the watch for stray, injured or lost animals.

And Liliana Iuri wants at least another 100 people across Brimbank to join her cause.

At the end of July, Ms Iuri will launch the Pet Neighbourhood Watch group.

The community project is part of a communication and leadership program she is studying through Landmark Education.

“My project is about compassion and self-expression. I find my pets to be a great source of inspiration,” Ms Iuri said.

“It has been my experience throughout my life that somehow lost and wounded animals tend to find their way to my balcony, garden or driveway.”

She said she had rescued at least eight cats and two dogs during the past five years.

“Reuniting pets with their owners and saving animals’ lives take time, energy and effort and I cannot do all this by myself. It requires cohesive action, integrity and courage,” Ms Iuri said.

As part of the project, participating households will be identified by displaying a sticker or poster.

At least 500 magnets to raise awareness of the program will be distributed throughout the municipality.

Ms Luri would also like to have a booklet of pet stories by group members published.

She said proceeds from the sales of the books would be donated to animal welfare organisations like Lort Smith Animal Hospital, the Lost Dogs’ Home at North Melbourne and the RSPCA.

An information session about the group is on Sunday, May 31.

Details: 0422 378 515 or petneighbourhoodwatch@hot mail.com

The Landmark Forum programme was featured recently on a Canadian television programme titled “Positive Living” (positivelivingtv.com). The show featured one man’s experience of the course, which was led by Landmark Forum leaders David Cunningham and Nancy Zapolski.

Rebecca Graham’s Self-Expression and Leadership programme project was recently recognised by the Brisband Newspaper Westside News. Her project, a pet fair event titled ‘Wag Your Tail,” offers an off leash animal play area, dogs for adoption and an opportunity to give donations to the RSPCA.

Go Barking Mad at Pet Fair

EVERY dog, and cat, will have its day at Milton this Saturday.
Pet owners are invited to bring their four-legged friends along to Milton Park for Wag Your Tail.

Event organiser Rebecca Graham said anyone could come to the event to show appreciation to animals for the incredible impact they have on people’s lives.

Children can dress as their favourite animal and pooches can play in the off-leash area.
Ms. Graham created the project while participating in a Landmark Education leadership program.
Part of the coursework was to create a project that benefits the community. Landmark Education is an international training and development company.
“Animal cruelty, abuse and neglect hinder us from living in a peaceful and joyous community,” she said.

“When I was given the opportunity to create a project that would make a difference in the community, I could see what this event would generate for the people of Brisbane; a community united in appreciation of animals, taking a stand for those who have no voice.” There will be marquees and stalls from the RSPCA and the Animal Welfare League (AWL), dogs for adoption, $25 microchipping for your cat or dog and hydrobathing.

Donations of animal food, bedding, toys and litter can be given to the RSPCA and AWL on the day.

Wag Your Tail will be at Milton Park on March 21 from 9.30am to 3pm.

The internet will bring Newport and a remote town in central Queensland together this weekend. Hayley Webster, a vet from outback Theodore, population 420, is house-sitting at Newport as part of a round-Australia trip with her husband. As part of a self-expression and leadership program she is undertaking a community project, organising concurrent street days for the whole of Newport and Theodore on Sunday.

“The street day itself is simple, there is nothing organised along the lines of stalls, decoration or food,” Ms Webster said.

“It is just a set time, 5pm to 6pm, on Sunday where everyone gets out into their street.

“There is no need for liability insurance or anything along these lines so no need for people, time or money to host this day.”

Over the whole weekend there will be a live feed set up from both communities on the internet so people can see what is happening in Newport and Theodore.

“It’s a bit of a reality TV-type thing with the camera showing all parts of Newport – the local shops, cafes, the bowls club, the beach, the Newport Arms and in Theodore it could show the irrigation, cotton properties, cattle, the local shops and, of course, the pub on Saturday night,” Ms Webster said.

It will show what people do on a weekend with locals doing a “tour” and commentary.

Ms Webster believes the occasion will provide a sense of interest, connection and bonding between the two communities and promote both communities and their businesses to the wider public.

“It provides a situation which nurtures community spirit and involvement and is a way of promoting both communities involved, their local businesses and furthering the connection and the understanding between country and city.” Mrs Webster is urging all business and residents of Newport to support the event and enjoy, educate and learn about their own community and life in regional Queensland.

THU 15 MAR 2007

Inderjeet Virdi took on the issue of reducing our carbon footprint with his project in the Self-Expression and Leadership Programme, raising awareness with a carbon footprint blog and other community action. The Hills Shire Times penned an article about Virdi’s project.

Local Heroes

Green fever seems to be sweeping through the hills as residents are jumping onto the environmental bandwagon.

Kellyville resident Inderjeet Singh Virdi wants to launch a community project in his area to raise awareness about carbon footprints created through our daily activities.

Mr. Virdi said that his program aimed to engage local residents through regular meetings of old and young alike and identify ways that families could reduce their carbon footprint.

“People always think issues like this are someone else’s problem,” he said. “We need to start addressing the environment at a grass roots level. I would love to see families discussing these issues around the dinner table.”

Mr. Virdi is distributing leaflets to households to gauge numbers if people are interested in meeting to discuss how they can help make the neighbourhood and households “greener”.

The global economic crisis hitting people hard all over the world.  Unemployment and loss of business are effecting people in many different ways.  It is only natural for people to be worried and fear for the future.   In this interview on American television, communication expert Deborah Beroset talks about ways people can meet the challenges of the current economy with greater peace of mind.

If you are in a Landmark seminar or on a Landmark Facebook group you may have heard about this already – There’s a new book that’s being released that takes the ideas from Landmark Education and gives and account of how they have made a difference in the world. The Book, “The 3 Laws of Performance”, is written by Steve Zaffron and Dave Logan. Zaffron leads the Landmark Forum and heads the Vanto Group, which brings Landmark Education’s ideas into businesses. The book has gotten a lot of good press and recommendations from famous figures in the world – To find out more or to purchase the book (It is being released early in 2009 but apparently can be pre-ordered now, visit the 3 Laws site.

I thought everyone would be interested in this information and would like to share it with others.

The following is a link to a Harris Interactive independent survey of health professionals and educators who had participated in programs offered by Landmark Education.

http://www.harrisinteractive.com/news/newsletters/clientnews/2007_LandmarkEducation.pdf Harris Interactive found that survey results showed that the vast majority of respondents held very positive views regarding Landmark Education programs as more than nine of ten agreed that Landmark’s programs were responsibly and professionally conducted, produced practical and powerful results, and made a profound difference in their lives. Moreover, nearly all respondents (96%) agreed that Landmark Education Programs provided great value. Dr. Raymond D. Fowler, Executive Vice President and Chief Executive Officer American Psychological Association, who participated in The Landmark Forum with his wife, who is also a psychologist, published the following. http://www.sinus-ffm.de/lec/landmark/fowler.html

(Harris Interactive (NASDAQ: HPOL) is an American market research company that specializes in public opinion research using both telephone and online surveys on online panels. The company is the product of a 1996 merger between the Gordon S. Black Company and Louis Harris & Associates. Harris Interactive has produced the Harris Poll surveys of public opinion since 1963, and is a member of the National Council of Public Polls (NCPP), the Council of American Survey Research Organizations (CASRO), the Council for Marketing and Opinion Research (CMOR), and the European Society for Opinion & Marketing Research (ESOMAR). – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harris_Interactive )

John Bishop

johnhbishop@earthlink.net

David Watkins, who is currently participating in the Landmark Education Self-Expression and Leadership Programme, recently had the opportunity to be an extra in the major new motion picture “Australia”, starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman. His friends wanted to see him in the movie, so he put together an event. Then he had an idea: Make the event his Self-Expression and Leadership programme project, and benefit a worthy cause.

The event, which will be held at 4pm on December 14 at Hoyt’s Australia in Sydney, costs $20, with attendees getting a chance to win a door prize. The money is going to Sydney Legacy, a charity that benefits widows and family members of those who perished while defending Australia.

“Our land, our culture, our freedom’s and our very way of life would all have been lost without the contribution of our armed services, and the senior generation,” said Watkins. “In attending this event not only will you be in the running for a lucky door prize, but you will also be giving something back to the community.”

For more information, contact Watkins at davidwatkins@virginbroadband.com.au.

Landmark Forum Graduate Deborah Beroset was recently interviewed on the topic of gossip.  In the interview she and the host discuss the topic of gossip from a unique perspective. How do you turn the griping and complaining of gossip into gold? When we complain are we talking to do something about it? How do we address our complaints that is constructive? 

Roz Benson took the self expression and leadership programme, and created a festival of fun in Western Austrailia: The Balingup Medeival Festival. Featured in stories in the Donnybrook Bridgetown Mail, the festival began as an event just for locals in Balingrup, and has become an attraction for visitors from everywhere.

Swords drawn in Balingup

Balingup was the centre of the medieval universe at the weekend as an estimated 7000 people flocked to the Medieval Festival. Lords, ladies, magicians, knights, damsels, sprats, warriors and tribespeople appeared in the town to sample the wares, enjoy the entertainment and march in the parade.

The immensely-popular parade began with a propitious blessing from Warwick the Wizard, who rode atop the conquered dragon while the Festival King and Queen led the parade from the primary school through to the fair grounds.

The parade drew in all the colour and spectacle of the day, with appearances from big and colourful chickens, knights in shining armour, belly dancers, medieval drummers and a colourful dragon courtesy of students from Balingup Primary School, to name just a few.

After moving through the festival grounds, the parade drew to a halt at the thrones of the King and Queen, where King Chulain welcomed the assembled mass and declared the festival open.

Rumours that there had been a bloodless coup were dispelled as King Chulain declared that Duke Michael of the Strong Arms had abdicated and placed the new King and Queen on the throne in his stead.

King Chulain then solemnly swore to loyally serve and protect the people of the shire and to promote the Medieval Festival and more things of its kind.

Warwick the Wizard then told the crowd of how he had brought Bonecrusher the Dragon under control after a rampage through Balingup.

In a festival highlight, Rick Armstead proposed to Sharon Hall before the assembled crowd, after which Queen Alazais decreed that everybody should go and have fun.

The carnival atmosphere continued into Saturday night as people gathered for the burning of Bonecrusher the Dragon.

Tension mounted towards 7pm as Warwick the Wizard stirred up the crowd before finally setting the dragon alight to the tune of medieval drumming.

As the flames rose high to warm the cold Balingup night, fire twirlers came out to entertain a crowd that numbered in the hundreds.

The festival continued unabated as Saturday’s warm and sunny weather turned cool and cloudy on Sunday.

The medieval jousting and tournaments proved to be one of the most popular highlights of the event.

Go here to read the

Knights in armour, both shining and rusty, re-enacted historical events and fighting forms, with the words ‘The dead may now arise!’ heard as a frequent refrain.

Rumours abounded that history was being re-written in the fighting arena, with a victory for the Saxons in the re-enacted Battle of Hastings.

The day turned cool as Sunday drew to a close.

As the weather that had held off over the two days threatened to break, the crowd dispersed and stallholders packed up after a successful weekend.

Go here to read the Donnybrook Bridgetown Mail story. Also, read a Landmark Education News story about Roz Benson and the festival.